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"Both of these Santas are fake because the real Santa... is Chinese."
Jessica Huang to Evan Huang

"The Real Santa" is the tenth episode of the second season of Fresh Off the Boat. It first aired on December 8, 2015.

Synopsis[]

Jessica loves the holidays but feels that Santa could use some improvements. So she and Louis convince Evan that Santa is a scientist with multiple post-graduate degrees from Princeton and has a close relationship with his mother. Meanwhile, Eddie and Emery are struggling to find the perfect Christmas gift for their mother.

Plot[]

This section requires expansion

Jessica deceives Evan to believe that Santa Claus is a Chinese man and an expert scientist, but this is all just for Jessica's further attempts to have Evan study even harder for school as well as embrace his Chinese cultural heritage. Louis objects to Jessica doing so because she is sabotaging Christmas this way, which turns out to be true.

When Evan decides to ask Santa a whole bunch of physics and math-related questions, Louis and Jessica worry of which Santa to give Evan to. At first, Mitch was given the role but then they settle on Marvin and bolt up his knowledge of science and math to prepare for Evan's questions. The plan fails, and Principal Thomas settles on replacing Santa with Panny.

Meanwhile, Eddie and Emery go off, shopping for the perfect Christmas present to but for their mom.

Cast[]

Main Cast[]

Recurring Cast[]

Guest Cast[]

  • Bayne Gibby as Miss Costanzo
  • Nicole J. Butler as Parent #1
  • Chris Chauncey as The Pancultural Seasonal Entity
  • Bill Doyle as Customer
  • Chris Lusti as Parent #2
  • Neal Genys as School Kid (uncredited)

Trivia[]

  • The Huang children seemed to have developed some understanding of Mandarin by this episode. In "So Chineez", none of them understood Mandarin, with Evan, the brightest of the three, failing to understand any Mandarin and asking his mother how to say "Can you say that in English?" in Mandarin so that he could communicate with Grandma Huang. However, by this episode, Eddie and Emery are able to comprehend Grandma Huang's Mandarin while Evan is aware that lao ban is Mandarin for "boss".

Quotes[]

Evan: Wait. If this Santa's Mitch, then who's that Santa? What's going on?
Jessica: You know what, Evan? It's time you know the truth.
Louis: Jessica...
Jessica: He's figured it out, Louis. We have no choice but to come clean. Evan, we've been lying to you. This Santa is Mitch. And look. This Santa is Marvin. Both of these Santas are fake because the real Santa... is Chinese.
Evan: What?
Louis: What?
Evan: Santa's Chinese?
Jessica: Yes! Why do you think all the toys he delivers say "Made in China"? Right, Louis?
Louis: Uh, right. Right. How about how Santa wears a red suit? Nothing more Chinese than the color red.
Evan: I've never seen a Chinese Santa.
Jessica: Oh, oh, of course you haven't. Real Santa doesn't have time to be standing around ringing the bell on every street corner.
Evan: Then why all the white Santas?
Louis: Uh, well, remember when I first opened Cattleman's and hired Mitch to be the white face of the restaurant? Chinese Santa's doing the same thing.
Jessica: Ah, all these white Santas and just Chinese Santa's Mitches.
Evan: Oh.
Mitch: Never knew this.
Emery: Eddie, you didn't write a poem. You plagiarized a rap song.
Eddie: I didn't plagiarize. I sampled.
Emery: We can't give mom 2Pac lyrics as her present. Christmas is two days away. What are we gonna do? Don't say it.
Eddie: Let it ride!
Emery: No kick?
Eddie: I'm wearing Umbros. Don't want you to get an eyeful. You feel me.

Gallery[]

Episodes
Fresh Off the Boat – Season One
Pilot Home Sweet Home-School The Shunning Success Perm
Episode 1
"Pilot"
Episode 2
"Home Sweet Home-School"
Episode 3
"The Shunning"
Episode 4
"Success Perm"
Persistent Romeo Fajita Man Showdown at the Golden Corrall Phillip Goldstein
Episode 5
"Persistent Romeo"
Episode 6
"Fajita Man"
Episode 7
"Showdown at the Golden Saddle"
Episode 8
"Phillip Goldstein"
License to Sell Blind Spot Very Superstitious DTBPD1
Episode 9
"License to Sell"
Episode 10
"Blind Spot"
Episode 11
"Very Superstitious"
Episode 12
"Dribbling Tiger, Bounce Pass Dragon"
So Chineez
Episode 13
So Chineez
Fresh Off the Boat – Season Two
Family Business Trip Boy 2 Man Shaquille O Neal Motors The Fall ball Dance
Episode 1
"Family Business Trip"
Episode 2
"Boy II Man"
Episode 3
"Shaquille O'Neal Motors"
Episode 4
"The Fall Ball"
Miracle on dead stret Fresh-off-the-boat The Big 1-2 Huangsgiving
Episode 5
"Miracle on Dead Street"
Episode 6
"Good Morning Orlando"
Episode 7
"The Big 1-2"
Episode 8
"Huangsgiving"
We Done Son The Real Samta YOTR Image
Episode 9
"We Done Son"
Episode 10
"The Real Santa"
Episode 11
"Year of the Rat"
Episode 12
"Love and Loopholes"
Phil's Phaves MCF Keep 'Em Separated Tight Two
Episode 13
"Phil's Phaves"
Episode 14
"Michael Chang Fever"
Episode 15
"Keep 'Em Separated"
Epsiode 16
"Tight Two"
Doing it Right Week in Review Jessica Place My Name is
Episode 17
"Doing It Right"
Episode 18
"Week in Review"
Episode 19
"Jessica Place"
Episode 20
"Hi, My Name Is..."
Rent Day Gotta Be Me The Manchurian Dinner Date Bring the Pain
Episode 21
"Rent Day"
Episode 22
"Gotta Be Me"
Episode 23
"The Manchurian Dinner Date"
Episode 24
"Bring the Pain"
Fresh Off the Boat – Season Three
FOTB GOes to Taiwan Breaking Chains Lance Ito, Indiana Jones & Pete Vampras Precinct 42
Episode 1
"Coming from America"
Episode 2
"Breaking Chains"
Episode 3
"Louisween"
Episode 4
"Citizen Jessica"
Turkey slaughter Praying Evan Smaller Taming of the Dads Evan (Kevin McCallister)
Episode 5
"No Thanks-giving"
Episode 6
"WWJD: What Would Jessica Do?"
Episode 7
"The Taming of the Dads"
Episode 8
"Where are the Giggles?"
How to Be an American Louis on TV Chinese Lunar New Year Dinner (Clean Slate) Connie & Jessica (3x12)
Episode 9
"How to Be an American"
Episode 10
"The Best of Orlando"
Episode 11
"Clean Slate"
Episode 12
"Sisters Without Subtext"
Alison & Eddie (3x13) Evan & Honey Eddie & Evan (3x15) Marvin & Honey (3x16)
Episode 13
"Neighbors with Attitude"
Episode 14
"The Gloves Are Off"
Episode 15
"Living While Eddie"
Episode 16
"Gabby Goose"
The Flush Jessica & Honey (3x18)] Jenny (3x19) Evan sucks at golfing
Episode 17
"The Flush"
Episode 18
"Time to Get Ill"
Episode 19
"Driving Miss Jenny"
Episode 20
"The Masters"
Brother, Brother Michael Bolton & Louis Huang New House (3x23)
Episode 21
"Pie vs. Cake"
Episode 22
"This Is Us"
Episode 23
"This Isn't Us"
Fresh Off the Boat – Season Four
Episode 1
"B as in Best Friends"
Episode 2
"First Day"
Episode 3
"Kids"
Episode 4
"It's a Plastic Pumpkin, Louis Huang"
Episode 5
"Four Funerals and a Wedding"
Episode 6
"A League of Her Own"
Episode 7
"The Day After Thanksgiving"
Episode 8
"The Vouch"
Episode 9
"Slide Effect"
Episode 10
"Do You Hear What I Hear?"
Episode 11
"Big Baby"
Episode 12
"Liar Liar"
Episode 13
"The Car Wash"
Episode 14
"A Man to Share the Night With"
Episode 15
"We Need to Talk About Evan"
Episode 16
"Ride the Tiger"
Episode 17
"Let Me Go, Bro"
Episode 18
"Measure Twice, Cut Once"
Episode 19
"King in the North"
Fresh Off the Boat – Season Five
Episode 1
"Fresh Off the RV"
Episode 2
"The Hand That Sits the Cradle"
Episode 3
"Working the 'Ween"
Episode 4
"Driver's Eddie"
Episode 5
"Mo' Chinese Mo' Problems"
Episode 6
"Sub Standard"
Episode 7
"Where Have All the Cattlemen Gone?"
Episode 8
"Cousin Eddie"
Episode 9
"Just the Two of Us"
Episode 10
"You've Got a Girlfriend"
Episode 11
"Driver's Eddie 2: Orlando Drift"
Episode 12
"Legends of the Fortieth"
Episode 13
"Grand-Mahjong"
Episode 14
"Cupid's Crossbow"
Episode 15
"Be a Man"
Episode 16
"Trentina"
Episode 17
"These Boots Are Made for Walkin'"
Episode 18
"Rancho Contento"
Episode 19
"Vice Mommy"
Episode 20
"Nerd Watching"
Episode 21
"Under the Taipei Sun"
Episode 22
"No Apology Necessary"
Fresh Off the Boat – Season Six
Episode 1
"Help Unwanted?"
Episode 2
"College"
Episode 3
"Grandma's Boys"
Episode 4
"S'Mothered"
Episode 5
"Hal-Lou-Ween"
Episode 6
"Chestnut Gardens"
Episode 7
"Practicum?!"
Episode 8
"TMI: Too Much Integrity"
Episode 9
"Lou Wants to Be a Millionaire"
Episode 10
"Jessica Town"
Episode 11
"A Seat at the Table"
Episode 12
"The Magic Motor Inn"
Episode 13
"Mommy and Me"
Episode 14
"Family Van"
Episode 15
"Commencement"
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